|
|
Thursday, July 26th, 2007
| |
10:09 pm - disassembeling.
|
I feel as though I'm moving to a point in my life where I could care less what people think about me, or what I'm doing with my life. My life is supposed to be about my happiness is it not? With that said, I'm happy. I'm not doing anything at all though, not making any money, not socializing, not waking up early. I need to find a job though. I wish I knew what I wanted to do in my life right now. I don't want to be a bum, and I know I have potential, but doing what exactly? I've had my hands in a few different things at this point in my life, and I'm finding it really hard to choose a direction. Journalism? I could be a good journalist. Write what I see, see what I write. I thought about writing short stories for a while, but I don't think that I have talent for story telling. Poetry? Nursing? Truck Driving? Go back to school for something or other that will help me advance in life. I doubt I could do law or anything like that. I'm not defensive enough to be a lawyer. nah.
Life is quite complex. People die. People live. anyway.
peace.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Friday, April 13th, 2007
| |
2:10 pm
|
I'm still alive. My hair is long enough for nubbins. No more nubbin lovin'.
Charlie and I are getting along right now, and I'm glad for it. I need his energy in my life a lot right now.
Work is going pretty well. I like getting paid on a regular basis. I just paid a shit ton of bills though. But, with that done, my credit rating is going to go up, and I'll be able to get a better loan amount when I get a car. I have less money to play with then I thought though. That disapoints me, but I feel as though I need to be responsible right now.
My back has been hurting a lot lately. My lower half has been feeling so distant, like it takes longer for the neural impulses to travel down my spinal column and it's weird. Charlie also told me I need to do yoga. I'm thinking about it.
My face healed really well after the car accident. I'm very surprised. My life is so over dramatic. My great Aunt is dying. She's like 89 or 90. She is the Matriarch of my family. It's so hard, but I really think I need to talk to her. I don't want to and am actually kind of frightened to mainly because I try not to get that close to death. It scares me. I admit it. That's why I've never killed myself though. So, I suppose that's a good thing.
I'm cold. So, I'm going to go. bye.
current mood:  thoughtful
|
|
(3 comments | comment on this)
|
| Thursday, December 28th, 2006
| |
12:58 pm - new myspace.
|
|
| Tuesday, October 24th, 2006
| |
1:11 am
|
I look back on this year, and think, my how I've grown. I feel much more like an adult these days then I ever did a year ago. I have outstanding friends, who will stand up to, and for me. I don't think I could value my life more then I do right at this very moment.
Thanks to each and everyone that's been there this last year. I changed my livejournal name to chasing_light. add it, because I'm done with this one.
love.
b-funky
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Friday, September 15th, 2006
| |
4:01 am
|
|
| |
3:57 am
|
|
| Sunday, July 2nd, 2006
| |
7:20 pm
|
|
| |
4:09 pm
|
|
i had begun to write something, but then realized you don't care.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Friday, June 30th, 2006
| |
11:09 am
|
|
| Monday, June 19th, 2006
| |
9:02 pm
|
NO. I am not getting fired from my job.
Yes. I am smoking pot a lot. So what?
Yes all of my bills are paid.
Yes. I'm fucking rediculously happy right at this very moment in time and have been happier for the last 2 months then I have been in the longest time.
Fuck anyone for not believing in me. I'm out.
♥
- Bailey
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Thursday, May 4th, 2006
| |
11:48 am - how true is this?
|
 |
I took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Badly in need of rest and relaxation, freedom from..."
Click here to read the rest of the results.
|
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Thursday, April 27th, 2006
| |
1:17 am - kinda interesting
|
|
| Friday, April 21st, 2006
| |
12:34 am
|
"Understanding In A Car Crash"
Splintered piece of glass falls, in the seat, gets caught
These broken windows, open locks, reminders of the youth we lost
In trying so hard to look away from you
we followed white lines to the sunset
I crash my car everyday the same way
Time to let this pass
(the time it takes, the time it takes to let go)
Time runs through our veins.
(it starts and stops and starts and stops again)
We don't stand a chance in this threadbare time
(the time it takes, the time it takes to let go)
Time to let this pass
(the time it takes, the time it takes to let go)
Staring at the setting sun
No reason to come back again
The twilight world in blue and white
The needle and the damage done
I don't want to feel this way forever
A dead letter marked return to sender
The broken watch you gave me turns into a compass
It's two hands still point to the same time 12:03, our last goodbye
So push the seats back a little further
I can see the headlights coming
So push the seats back a little further
Roll the windows down and take a breath
I can see the headlights coming
They paint the world in red and broken glass
Time to let this pass
(the time it takes, the time it takes to let go)
Time runs through our veins.
(it starts and stops and starts and stops again)
We don't stand a chance in this threadbare time
(the time it takes, the time it takes to let go)
Time to let this pass
(the time it takes, the time it takes to let go)
Staring at the setting sun
No reason to come back again
The twilight world in blue and white
The needle and the damage done
I don't want to feel this way forever
A dead letter marked return to sender
The spinning hubcaps set the tempo, for the music of the broken window
The Cameras on and the cameras click
We open up the lens and can't stop
Staring at the setting sun
No reason to come back again
The twilight world in blue and white
The needle and the damage done
I don't want to feel this way forever
The lights are on and the cameras click
We open up the lens (to broken glass!)
Staring at the setting sun (And it's over!)
No reason to come back again (In a flash!)
The twilight world in blue and white (and I'll never!)
The needle and the damage done (ever understand!)
I don't want to feel this way forever (Understanding!)
(In a Car Crash!) A dead letter marked return to sender (In a Car Crash!)
(In a Crash!) In a Crash!
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, April 12th, 2006
| |
1:42 am - I thought this would be fun
|
|
| Saturday, April 1st, 2006
| |
1:12 pm
|
A Place Aside - Beth Orton
I do still sometimes put my hand across
And i feel as yours gets placed on top
We drive along these empty streets
Same old ones they’ve always been
I can still hear your heartbeat in the dark
We’re still setting up the same old sparks
Pull me close and we lay still
Wrap my toes around your heel
And we’re talking as i write this song
Unfolding as we go along
And i suppose we really do
I suppose it must be true
There will always be a place aside
For you...
I do still sometimes stare into your gaze
The way we’d stay for days and days
‘skuze me but this seat is taken
They’ve been a while but i’m still waiting
And if i light these matches just to watch ‘em burn
And i forget to keep myself warm
And i forgot how to sing my song
Then i suppose i really do
I suppose it must be true
But there will always be a place aside
For you
current mood:  bored
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Friday, March 31st, 2006
| |
1:45 am
|
You say you think you can help me
Think of me as someone who bleeds
Well I never told you to love me
That's your sort of greed
I can make my own decisions
I can do what I want to do
And I don't have to share my addiction
With any of you
I'll be just fine out of my mind
I like it this way I know when to pray
I'm in control till it swallows me whole
I know you'd like to control me
You always need to be right
Because I'm late once or twice
Lose a job or stay out all night
But I can see high above it
The world is a boundary for you
And I know that you'd like to see through it
The way that I do
I'll be just fine out of my mind
I like this it this way I know when to pray
And I don't need any until I need more
I said I was sorry a hundred times before
And I'm in control till it swallows me whole
Well you say that you have to leave now
You can't stand the things that I do
And you know that I'll need this more
Than I'll ever need you
I'll be just fine out of my mind
I like this it this way I know when to pray
And I don't need any until I need more
And I don't need any until I need more
And I don't need any until I need more
And I'm in control
Till it swallows me whole
Till it swallows me whole
Swallows me whole
current mood:  eh
current music: B-funks mix
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Monday, March 27th, 2006
| |
7:21 pm
|
|
| |
9:52 am
|
|
| Wednesday, March 15th, 2006
| |
1:38 pm
|
Charlie is sitting next to me telling stories. Cory is silly. Don't hook electrical objects up to your balls, kthxbai.
Anywhore. I'm tired. I'm working til 9:30 tonight. bah. and that's it.
bosom.
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Thursday, March 2nd, 2006
| |
12:27 pm
|
I don't say this enough to the people I care about, but thank you all.
Maggie- I love you little sister. I know it might not always feel like it, but you're in my heart. It's just too hard right now, because I'm getting my life on track. I don't know how to help you. Thank you though for helping me to realize that I am a strong vocal smart person. Without you in my life I don't know as though I would have learned these lessons. I also apologize for ever hurting you, because I never meant to.
Charlie- I love you too. I am confusing. I know that. But thank you for dealing with me when I could barely deal with myself. You've helped to me to learn that it's okay to be who I am, and that it's okay to rely on other people while at the same time relying on yourself. You have helped me gain confidence, knowledge, and wit. Thank you.
To everyone else that's been there for me or with me thank you all too. I am grateful for all that I've learned and gained from knowing all of you.
I also want to apologize if I've been acting strange lately. It's just that I'm feeling my feelings to every extent and being okay with them. I know many people are used to me putting up a front, and just being okay all of the time but I'm not going to do that anymore. Not for anyone. Lets learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable together. I love and value all of the friendships I have, but hold on to nothing anymore. I live day to day for myself now. I want you all to be there, just don't mind if I'm more reserved or quiet or outgoing then usual, because this is how I need to be right now. I respect myself and in return that's all I'm looking for.
Much love.
- Bailey
current mood:  calm
current music: Massive Attack
|
|
(3 comments | comment on this)
|
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
im_not_okay_05's journal
not crazy! haha
